Gma Christensen

A few days before Christmas we got word that Gma wasn't doing well. She was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and needed her stomach drained. There appeared to be more going on, but she made the decision not to go down the route of invasive tests in order to determine any further diagnosis. She returned to her apartment and was put on hospice. Mom had flown down to be with Gma and her family, as it was really a matter of days at that point. Dad made his way down a couple days later.

On the 23rd of December I called mom to chat for a little bit and see how she was doing. Gma was sleeping, and it was still just a waiting game. It wasn't even two hours later when mom sent a message letting us all know Gma had passed.

The funeral was scheduled for December 31st. Thanks to all the chaos going on with some of the airlines due to crazy weather back East, flights were getting canceled by the thousands, mostly by Southwest because they use a terribly outdated system. Anyway, flights that weren't getting canceled were incredibly expensive. Dad had returned home a couple days after Christmas and was planning on driving down for the funeral. I was scheduled to work the 30th, but I convinced him to meet me in the tri-cities after I got off work so we could drive down together. We ended up getting to Sherry's at 2:30am. 

It was a good service. And just like with Gpa's funeral, it was great so see some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins that I don't get to see very often, even though it wasn't under the circumstances that we wanted. I'm glad I was able to go down for it, and to be able to support mom. 

Mom had asked us all for memories of Gma for her to use in her talk at the funeral. As I was trying to think of specific memories, none really came to mind, and that kind of started to frustrate me a little. I had countless interactions with her, but I couldn't really think of one that really stood out to me. I mean, I had memories, but none really popped in my head right away. I was a little comforted when others expressed similar sentiments, but rather the overall feeling of acceptance, love, patience, watching sports, and eating her homemade bread was remembered by everyone.

Gma wasn't one that sought attention and didn't try to steal the room, that's what Gpa was always good at. She was the quiet and calm presence but was an absolute workhorse behind the scenes.  She was consistent in everything from her faith to side salads with dinner, even all the way down to her haircut. Seriously, look back at old pictures, she never changed her hair style. That consistency is something I admire a lot about Gma. You always knew what you were going to get.

I remember one time as a kid when we were staying with Gma and Gpa while mom was going to BYU. I know Gma made cookies because I could smell them. I could not find them, though. I looked all over in the pantry, fridge, and cupboards. I was convinced that she was hiding them from us kids. As an adult, I completely understand, and even do the same thing now that I have kids.

I would go over to their house to watch BYU games that I couldn't get on basic cable at my apartment when I was attending BYU. Every so often, Gma would get up and walk down to her room. After a minute or two, she would come back and sit down. She would do this enough that I started to wonder what was going on, because even though she was elderly, nobody has to pee that often. One time when she came back, I asked her if she was okay. She told me the game was making her so frustrated that she just had to go take quick breaks to calm herself down. That's a much better approach than what I usually take.

I once saw her bake a casserole, and then take it out of the oven without using oven mitts. Just her bare hands like it was nothing. I was there for all of it, so I know the oven was still on and it wasn't just in there cooling or something. I will randomly think about that way more than I probably should.

Anyway, the memory that I sent to mom was of when I would go over to do my laundry. I'd go upstairs to visit until I needed to change loads. If the TV was on, she would always turn it off, which I hated because I liked having the TV to help fill the gaps in our conversations. This was her way of letting me know I had her attention and she had mine. 

I'm really glad we were able to see her one last time when we went down to Utah for Thanksgiving. Emily had mentioned that Gma looked happy to be amongst everyone, but she didn't look quite like herself. Which, how could you after losing your spouse of 60-ish years and realizing you now have to spend the holidays alone with a binch of crazy people.

I overheard someone sitting behind me at the funeral saying that Gma was saying she was expecting to live longer but recently could feel Gpa pulling at her and telling her it's time. I don't know if that was in dreams or some other manifestation, I didn't hear that part, but I find it pretty cool and comforting in a way. I don't think either of them wanted to be without the other for very long. 

 Gma was a rock and will absolutely be missed.