Cinco

From the beginning, our plan was to try to get to four kids, if we could. We weren't going beyond that. So, when we got Crewe, that was it, we were done, and I was going to take permanent action to prevent the possibility of any more. That was always the plan, so no conversation was needed. Emily kept reminding me to get it scheduled, and I kind of kicked the can down the road a tad, nervous about the whole process. 

Well, one day I was on top of things, and started filling out some paperwork in preparation to getting it scheduled. Before I called to schedule, I jokingly asked Emily if she was sure she was done and didn't want to go for number five. 

Well, the next day was Emily's day to go to the temple. It's hard with the kids for both of us to go together, so we've been alternating once a month. Anyway, she comes home from the temple and asks me to hold off on scheduling anything. She says she went with the question about our family and if we were done. She said she had an uncomfortable feeling when she thought about being done with four, which then turned into an impression that there was one more. Emily said since we only ever talked about four, that she never thought or considered five until I joked about it. I hadn't really either, not seriously, anyway.

So, the next few days and weeks were filled with conversations and prayer. How would we fit everyone in the house and van? We still don't know. We talked about not wanting to be old parents, but we already will be, so what's another couple years? As we talked, we really never came up with a reason not to, at least none that felt like good excuses. The other main concern was Emily's health, obviously. Her MS symptoms got a little worse after Hadley, and she really struggled physically recovering from Cambri (although we'll be recovering from Cambri for a long time for other reasons, she can be a brute). However, she switched to a different MS treatment prior to Harlow, and she hasn't had any new lesions or worsening of symptoms since. Her recovery after Harlow is what prompted us to go for Crewe, and she recovered without issues after him as well. That switch in treatment has been a massive blessing to Emily and our family.

One night when I went to kneel in prayer -even before I got off my bed- a distinct "if you're willing and able" was spoken to my mind. The next time I was able to go to the temple, I went with all of this in mind. And during the endowment instruction video, Adam and Eve being commanded to multiply and replenish the earth seemed to be highlighted in bright yellow this time. One of our main purposes in this life is to build a family, after all. 

I took that as the Lord telling us, "If you're willing and able, you already know my opinion and you're not going to hear me telling you not to in this case." I feel it's like going to a car dealership with plenty of cash and asking them if I should buy a car. Of course I know what they will say. Sometimes it's just reassuring to hear it said, I guess.

So, we were willing and able. We both felt confirmation that it's what we needed to do, so just trust things will sort themselves out. Emily had already planned out when we would expect #5, and it would put us later in 2025. 

That was the plan, at least, but would not be our reality. In early October, Emily went in for her infusions. She said her period was late by a day, but didn't think much of it because before they start the infusions, they always have to give her a pregnancy test before they begin. It came back negative. A couple of days go by and she said her period still hadn't started yet. So I bought a pregnancy test just to see, and rule it out. Maybe something else was going on. There are other details I don't need to include here, I think all this might already be TMI, but let's just say we didn't think she was pregnant because the timeline of stuff didn't work out. Anyway, the test came back positive. This was completely unexpected, and way ahead of our planned timeline, but the sooner the better, I guess? Emily was pregnant. 

She scheduled her appointments and whatnot, and in a few weeks she was able to do the blood testing that would let us know the baby's gender. 

10 WEEKS

She was ten weeks when we went down to Utah for Thanksgiving. It was while we were down in Utah that she got the email with the blood results. We hadn't told anyone at this point, so we waited for a moment when it was just us, and she pulled up the result. Thankfully, everything checked out, and then we saw that we should be expecting another girl. Emily and the girls were obviously excited. I was confident it was going to be a boy, but will now have to accept that it's just Crewe and I.

Once we got back from Utah, we headed down to Seattle for lunch at Taste of India, which is where we've gone to celebrate every pregnancy. 

Like everywhere else, it's doubled in price, but I love any excuse to come here.

15 WEEKS

At her second appointment, Emily got to hear the baby's heartbeat, which is always really cool. She still hasn't had an ultrasound yet, but is getting one scheduled if she hasn't already.

Emily has been pretty nauseous, whish is typical. She's also been having a lot of headaches, too, and was throwing up daily, although that has kind of stopped in the last couple of weeks. With the first three girls she threw up daily until the end, and it became a way of knowing they were doing okay. It's normal to not be throwing up at this stage, but hasn't been normal for Emily. Now that she isn't throwing up with this one, she has to find other ways to receive some reassurance that the baby is fine.

So, even though we weren't planning on it originally, baby number five is on the way, and will join us in mid-June.